I am terrified of coming to fruity these days.
It's like she's going to yell at me for being such a bad mother and never visiting her or feeding her or sending her her favourite soft drink of choice, Passiona.
And she'd be right to yell. I never visit! Terrible mother! Off with my head! Or at least a couple of fingernail tips!
We all know why, though: it's because I am a traveling gypsy, and those bells aren't going to play themselves. Ha ha! As if. We all know real gypsies think bells are naff and that they much prefer synthesizers.
Shithouse jokes aside, it's because I am busy blogging daily at beauty website PRIMPED and writing books and being a dating bully for Cosmopolitan magazine, and writing an opinion column in the Sunday Telegraph and Tweetin' and extreme kite-rollerskating and so on.
For more regular updates (as in at least bi-annual) go to zoefoster.com.au, and marvel at my incredible talent for self-adulation and typos.
For less regular updates, uh, go to fruitybeauty.com.au ?
Aaaaand cue required shot of Meowbert:
