Among other things (I'll get to the hair-straightening bit, promise) Lyndal Fruit writes:
"I have tried unsuccessfully to subscribe to your website. I followed the
instructions and each time it says cannot find subscription. Any words of
advice?"
Damn SKIPPY.
Fruits, I very much apologise if you've gone to all the effort of saying to yourself:
'Hmmm. I see that Subscribe button under that picture of Fruity's mug every day, and yet like a girl with green eyes electing not to wear lilac eyeshadow, I'm failing to utilise what could be marvelous. In fact, why DON'T I subscribe? After all, how wonderful it must be to receive fresh bowls of fruity delivered directly into my inbox each morning so that I never miss out on any crucial beauty information or border-line racist YouTube clips about Beautiful Nail (just one) bars..."
And then, then your naughty subscription hasn't worked!
The HIDE!
The absolute NERVE!
Here's what you do:
1. Subscribe again.
2. See number 1.
Feedback from other fruits tells me it usually works the second time round. (Other feedback includes: Stay blonde; never go blonde again; you should post on Sundays and lern 2 spel befour startng a blog.)
Of course, if even that doesn't work, email me and I'll delete your email account entirely so that you get a fresh slate.
Because there's no reason in this woolly wide world you shouldn't be subscribed to fruitybeauty.
(Unless you don't have an email account. Or you're allergic to pineapple. Or you're five years old. But then, I've seen how you lot paint those nails: Don't tell me you don't need help.)
