1. Contract Boyfriend's disgusting, mucous-driven cold for authenticity.
2. Enjoy a sore throat, clogged head, achey body.
3. Awake with a heavy feeling that all that work and Christmas gift shopping will not be getting done today, leaving me with ONE FOUL DAY, tomorrow, to do it all.
4. Check work emails to find that carpets are being re-done tonight, and that "everything from your desk area must be stored somewhere non floor-ish". As job entails numerous boxes, bags and carefully arranged baskets on carpet, being at home sets in a state of panic. But no more than say, being chased by a large black rottweiler. Realise will be going into work today after all.
5. Notice hair is filthy and oily. This is a Rule Of Being Sick: Hair must always lay flat, then be dry and frizzy on the ends. There must be no way in hell you can leave the house without washing and blow drying it with a heavy, recalcitrant hair dryer, which, next to getting dressed, is the last thing you want to do.
6. Face is puffy and blotchy. Undereyes look like little down pillows. Not even Guerlain Midnight Secret is helping. Radiant skin is a myth, like elves, or Tasmania.
7. Lips are so dry and vile that not even the most industrial strength lip balm - Egyptian Magic - is doing anything.
8. Stupidity has seeped into the brain. Unintelligence has overtaken. Simple things like making up words like "unintelligence" are proving hard. Even fruitybeauty feels like a thinly veiled chore today.
9. Have forgotten what 9. was.
10. Manage enough rage to text Boyfriend that he has basically ruined christmas with his nasty little bacteria exchange system. Decide to withdraw all Boyfriend-present-buying until he delivers some cold and flu tablets. And a hair stylist.
