This is in response to Sara B's question, re-produced here for your viewing ease:
"I rocked up at boyfriend's for the evening straight from work and had forgotten my glorious face products. So my questions are, if I don't have...
a) face wash
Do I use soap? Or is using nothing but water better than using soap?
b) moisturiser
Do I use body moisturiser? Or is using nothing better than using body moisturiser?
Obviously to avoid such a travesty again I will be purchasing some boyfriend-housed products, but rather than keep a second helping of my ridiculously priced moisturiser at his nest, can you recommend a cheap but good (is there such thing) moisturiser?"
GOLLY. Do I know that one! I mean, who hasn't been in THAT situation? Really? Who hasn't? I tell you, it takes me back to the days I used to hook for cash - always finding myself in some strange man's home or car with out so much as a hydrating serum or firming eye cream to be seen!
I'm kidding. Mum, put down the phone.
But back to Sara B. Best I tackle this one question by question. And it hurts, it really does. I hate this vision of a pretty little banana in a Stinky Boy's Bathroom, tears slowly welling because she can't wash and moisturise her face.
First of all, your first move should always be to find his face wash/scrub and moisturiser, and use that. Just have a poke around, every man has at least some Nivea for men behind all of those bottles of Brut and Blue Stratos and that container of Xanax.
He doesn't even have that??
Man, his fur lap-lap and ability to lob women with clubs must have been really impressive to get you back to his place.
May I suggest you a) find a new a boyfriend, one who has enough SELF RESPECT to look after his skin, or, b) brace yourself for a beauty routine that even prisoners of war would reject.
Okay. So there's no face wash. Hmmm. Try to avoid soap at all costs, not only has that thing been lovingly rubbed all over his, you know, dangly bits, but it's so so harsh for your skin. Check if it's Dove - unlikely, but excellent if it is - then ,if not, go for the hand wash. If it's soap free, get a small amount on a towel and gently clean your face, avoiding the eye area like it were a rabid mosquito. If he has no face wash or hand wash, you're gonna have to deal with water and, uh, water. Orsoapifyou'rereallydesperate.
Okay. Moisturisation.
Body lotion is not good; it's much harsher than face gear and has stronger portions of fragrance and so on. If he has something plain like Sorbelene or vaseline cream, use that. (By the sounds of it, he's more likely to have a fully grown Cheetah.) Again - no eye areas.
Alright, that's that sorted. Now here's your: Don't Want To Spend Much Shopping List for His Place
Facial wipes. Neautrogena's are grouse.
Eye make up remover wipes. So worth buying - because you can't use your face wipes to remove that crazy eye liner, doll. Swisspers do excellent cheap ones, as do Almay (Make sure you get the oil free Almay ones.)
Face wash. I like Olay Blemish Effects or Elizabeth Arden Green Tea three-in-one.
Moisturiser. Go for Garnier, Olay or Neutrogena.
Too cheap? Too lazy? Don't think you'll be heading back to that particular guys' place?
You need the MAGICAL PRODUCT THAT DOES EVERYTHING:
And as usual, it's (organic) Rosehip oil.
You can keep it in your handbag (small, efficient, gets on well with mobile phones) and use it as a cleanser (with wet face cloth), an eye cream, face cream and even massage it on as a quick facial if you're drunk and fear hang over skin. And it won't piss your skin off either - it's anti-irritant and works just as well on oily skin. Brilliant.
Hope that helps, Sara B.
Kindest,
Fruity B.
