fruitybeauty

Fruity's been schooled.

"Robin" wrote this in response to my post about having vile knotty beach hair the other day.

"I think beach hair is great. There isn't much in his world better than a girl who's hair is normally meticulously blow dried and has airbrushed spray tan skin getting a bit of salt in her hair and red on her nose. Dipping in the cool salty water will wash off that veil of makeup that society demands she wear to conform to it's sense of beauty.

The beach is the place where the real natural look prevails, it seperates the girls I would want to see at night after a few beers from the girls I would want to see first thing in the morning.

But what would I know, I'm just a surfer."

Good lord, does he have a point. He really does.

But, see, maybe i didn't articulate my point. Cause I do agree with ol' Robby Rob Rob.

I'm all for the natural look. Case in point: All i've worn is Megan Gale's Invisible Zinc broad spectrum SPF 30 tinted moisturiser (AMAZING stuff: A dewy finish and literally everything you need on your face when you're going into that nasty ol' sun) and lip gloss for a week. And it's been glorious.

(Night time different: dinner earns blush, kohl and some pretty lashes.)

BUT, when i want to flip the script and ramp up the ladylike, my hair won't behave. Which is why i offered tips on how to soothe and tame the salt-destroyed beast. That's all. Tips to help, not rules to folllow. I want the kids to relax on holidays. Get a little bold. Skip the foundy. Drop the bronzer. Forget about the shadow. It's a beautiful thing. Especially the wavy, crunchy beach hair. But Robby, that shit be hard to get perfect. Especially if you've been wearing a hat. Or haven't washed it for a few days.

Bah, whatever. The fruits will decide for themselves how feral they want to get.

Oh and a little side dish about the whole cute surfer girl myth.

This whole surfing thing has made my legs look like I'm a street walker with a habit and an abusive boyfriend called 'Mutt'. I've got huge fin-caused bruises on my knees and my shins, a sterling rash on my thighs and stomach, and invisible sea creature bites everywhere. Which is VERY PRETTY when I slip on, oooh, anything aside of jeans/tracksuit pants/a lobster suit.

Seems you're the glamorous girl laying on the beach, or you're the bedraggled swamp monster trying to surf.

I'm having more fun, but she's looking waaay better.

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE 567, 890 NEW FRECKLES.
DAMMIT.

All aboard, or are y'all bored?

Opinion: Something you should always give so that people understand that your perspective is the best, and probably, definitely the only one they should listen to. Ever.

Now you try it: Do celebrity spokesmodels still make you want to buy stuff? I ask because a Huge Brand That Shall Remain Nameless yesterday revealed a pretty stunning new line (Not out till April. Annoying.) that features no famous people at all. Not even Matt Damon.

So I wondered, have celebs finally had their endorsement day? Are we off them? Do they still engage us? Or are we ready for the Supermodel Invasion, Version 2.0?

And now for a highly ineffective visual prompt...

Does Julia Stegner, catwalk megastar, make you want to spend the paper...

Or does the super-flashy celebrity angle still float your boat?

You know what I mean.
Now talk to me, fruits.

Your say: Gradual Tanners

I got an email from a workmate today, who I gave one of the newer gradual tanners (body lotions that build up into a tan, giving you a glorious healthy glow, sans stench and stained bed sheets) to road test.

This is what she said:

"As promised, I wanted to let you know about the tanning moisturizer you gave me last week…

In all honesty it smells pretty bad, is very thick and ‘claggy’ to rub on and did not tan up like the Dove and Holiday skin…

Sorry, but in all, not great…."

And I thought, GOLLY, here I am thinking the entire category is fabulous, and what a sterling invention gradual tanners are, and hooray life, when in fact there are shit products out there ruining the integrity of tanning body lotions the world over.

So, I put it to you: Which do you think is the best gradual tanner?

Remember: You have the power to stop someone making an eight dollar purchase they may really, really regret.

Your say: Lip balm

A nice chap (excuse the pun) yesterday asked me if it was possible to become addicted to Chapstick, because he feared he was. And then he asked if Chapstick really was the best lip balm for dry lips, and if not, then DAMMIT WOMAN, WHAT IS IT?

Well, it'll be the one that doesn't leave your lips drier than before you applied it, I said.

You're USELESS, he screamed, which was rather dramatic, I thought.

But know what? As I change my 'favourite lip balm' all the time, it's hard for me to answer this question fairly. (Having said that, I am currently enjoying Living Nature's manuka honey lip balm. And I do love Egyptian Magic from Mecca, which I use for everything, not just lips.)





But who cares.

Which lip balm do YOU think is best?

Hit the comment button below, and let the world know.