With Meowbert.
Who is just shy of one, and yet looks simultaneously two months old and 14 years old because of his ridiculous face and fat belly combo.
Handy Hint: Imagining for a second that this were the set of Full House (I'd be DJ, of course) the 'Awww' card would come up at photo two, and the 'Oh, now would you look at that' card at photo four.
Okay, enough looking at handsome young boys, you perv.
Back to work.
Go on, it'll be fun.
Jessica Fruit, who works at Jeanswest, wanted me to tell you all about the rad designer tees they have in store this month, all of which were specially created by Definitely Excellent designers to raise money for Pink Ribbon Day on Monday October 22 (a wonderful day that raises funds for breast cancer research and awareness). It's called the Jeanswest Designer Charity Tee project and it's in its third year, and well, it's kind of really, really good.
And who might the designers be this year, you murmur?
Well, I'll tell you.
Alba Fan Club.
Manning Cartell.
Kate Hurst.
Kirrily Johnston.
Camilla and Marc.
And what might the special little tees look like, you whisper?
Well, I'll show you.
Pretty neat tees, huh?
You bet your ass they are.
Important part: They go on sale TOMORROW, and cost only $29.95 each, with 10 clams from
each tee heading straight to the fine people at Pink Ribbon Day HQ. They are limited. They will not last. They never do.
As such, I suggest you get your shiny little EFTPOS card and shimmy down to ye olde Jeanswest town immediately if not sooner. These tees are visually rad, and karmically sound. Especially for 30 bucks! Especially when ten of said bucks are going to help the guys in white lab coats find a cure for breast cancer. It's just win win, really.
(For the record, I love the Kate Hurst owl tee best, hence why it's rumpled; it's on high rotation and was hurled straight from the clothesline to appear in its super-expensive-and-professional studio shoot for Fruity.)
It's a Bert update.
He's a big, fat, flat-faced ball of love and I can't believe I bothered existing without him.
(His full name is Meowbert, for the record, but people tend to Not Get That, which is why I usually just refer to him as Bert. For another record - and I hope you're a record collector - The Boyfriend named him.)
Meowbert chillin' with his Missoni cushion.
(No, I am not commissioned by them to viral PR, I promise.)
Meowbert giving his mama some love.
Meowbert really, really thrilled about being washed and looking
like a small rat with an over-developed hair hormone.
NB: Meowbert gave full permission for use these images to be used in this manner.
Dear Valued Customer,
We regret to advise that over the next two weeks, there may be a disturbance in the regularity of fresh fruit being delivered to your account.
This is because a certain operator, whose full identity we would prefer to keep confidential in the interest of safety,
has been infected by a sinister virus, said to look like this
which is said to lead to, among other things, an acute case of
We regret any inconvenience, and suggest you take supplements of the variety found in health food stores/lunatic asylums until your service is returned.
Kindest,
Fruitybeauty Corp.
2007.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
I love birthdays.
I smile all day long.
Just like this.
You already know what I got, of course.
Sorry, I mean:
I'm off to watch The Simpsons movie and drink champagne AT THE SAME TIME!
Does it get any better?
(Hint: No.)
Seriously, you did.
I have the letters, faxes, emails, carrier pigeons and photos of the skywriting right here.
He's here!
He's here!
His face is as big as his ear!
Either way, I am in love.
Which will become annoying for you lot, but I'll try to remember this is fruitybeauty, not fruityberty.
1. Sook. Sniffle. Sleep. A lot.
2. Spend lucid moments (after weeks upon weeks) searching for the kitten that Your Boyfriend is buying you for your birthday in a few weeks.
3. Discover it is the wrong time of the year to be buying an exotic.
4. Finally find and fight for (the breeder wanted him to go to a breeder/show home and I wrote her a play detailing why I would be a suitable, nay, superb mother for him) and book the flight for as yet unnamed kitten to arrive in Sydney this Friday.
4. Tell Boyfriend cheerfully you've done all the hard work and thank you so much, it's the best gift a girl could hope for and that all he need do is pay attention to the account details you emailed him and get ready for FUN come Friday.
5. Get irritated you are ill because you'd really like to go buy a collar, scratching post and bed for this little guy...
Because fruits like to get their culture from places other than their yogurt, I've decided to showcase some Definitely Excellent art from a fellow Typepad-er, fourteen 14, whose blog, Gallery of the Absurd, is probably the best blog you'll ever see, besides the obvious. (Hint: Jezebel)
Although with her multifarious talents she makes every other blogger look lazy, dull, unimaginative and simple, I still think she's superb. Because not only is she a kickass artist, she's also a scathing commentator on the obscene Hollywood circus her art represents. Basically, she is FUNNY and SHARP and CLEVER and if I were a boy, I would have the BIGGEST crush on her.
I mean LOOK AT THIS STUFF!
She is also amazing at representing a celebrity in a famous artist's style. And coincidentally, I have an example right here! This is 14 does Dali does Angelina.
And of course, here are the Carter brothers. I mean, Olsen sisters.
Wicked. Just wicked.
Fruits, if you have any excellent blogs we should all know about, you should tell us, you know? The woolly wide web is like the road, it's there to share. And waste large amounts of time on staring at. And so on.
Because I am in meditation boot camp and I am not supposed to be doing this, (some of the kids threatened to check fruity to see if I can resist. Clearly, I can not. Bad spiritual student, BAD) or checking my phone, or email or listening to my iPod or doing anything that takes away from the poignancy of what is up to nine hours a day of “rounding” (a potent cocktail of yoga, breathing and meditation that goes for an hour done in succession of up to five in a row. Oh yeah, this stuff be full, ON. No bintang and you-like-massage-madam, here fruits), I have to make this stealth and super quick.
I am using the villa computer to do it, and sweet Mattay’s (the villa’s minder) seems to be rather perplexed at the time I am electing to do this, but I will be quick, and I will give her literally millions (of rupiah) for the luxury, so really, she needn’t STAND SO CLOSE.
Some photos.
This is myself and Paola, a ridiculously beautiful Columbian model from New York who speaks like Scarface,(say hello to my leetle fren) is funnier than Seinfeld and has made every one of us all in love with her.
This is one of the many, many monkeys who like to watch us meditate in the mornings. As you can see, he is thirsty, so he is drinking from our saltwater pool. Honestly. And people say monkeys are clever.
And this is Some Of Us on our post-lunch stroll to help our AMAZING ayurvedic lunch digest before we hit the yoga mat again. See the blue sky, see the lack of rain; foresee the climate shock I will get hitting the tarmac at Kingsford-Smith to sideways rain and seven degree temperatures come Sunday.
Ahhhh, sweet little Mattay. She’s saying things in Indonesian and smiling and pointing to the door and giggling and making sleeping-pillow symbols. It’s quite entertaining, but probably not very zen to pretend not to know what she means just to prolong the show.
Yours in Om,
Fruitarishi.
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