fruitybeauty

Did I mention I once wrote a book?

And you should buy it if you haven't already.

Here's what people are saying:

"When the movie comes out, I bags the role of Gabe."
Perez Hilton

"By far the best book she's ever written."
David Foster

"When the movie comes out, I bags the role of Dan."
Adam Brody

"Probably the best book I've ever walked over on the way to the kitchen."
Meowbert

"When the movie comes out, I bags the role of Hannah."
Zooey Deschanel

"Ew. That's a girl's book."
Small boy at the convenience store

"If I owned a set of eyes and thumbs, I would choose only to read this book, again and again."
Zoe Foster

"I can only dream of writing such entertaining, exciting fiction."
JK Rowling.

M•A•C makeovers! Pens being used to sign books! Excellent fun had by all

Once upon a time (12 noon til 2pm) there was a day called Friday July 11, 2008. And on this day a young lass called Zoe Foster stood at the M•A•C counter at Sydney city Myer and watched as talented makeup artists gave fun women complimentary makeovers that matched the looks in a book she once wrote called Air Kisses.

The looks were created by M•A•C Senior Artist and hotstuff genius person, Nicola Burford, and were inspired by the characters in Air Kisses: One was called Illuminated, and was a lovely glowing, no-makeup look. One was called Hannah Red, which featured a deliciously dramatic red lip, and the third one was Thunderstorm Brewing, which was a sexy, foxy, minxy and other words meaning 'attractive' and involving the letter x, smoky eye.

And so these women came to this M•A•C Myer counter and they had their copies of  Air Kisses signed as they enjoyed one of these three magnificent looks being applied to their face and then they all went out that night, some to dinner, some bowling, some to origami making class and some to the kind of nightclubs that charge $17 for a vodka, lime and soda and give you attitude when you ask for a glass of water please, and they all looked incredibly beautiful with their professionally applied makeup and took lots of delightful photos that ended up on Facebook but they didn't un-tag any of them because they looked so hot.

And then, the very next day, July 12, at the very same time of day, Zoe Foster did the EXACT same thing at the  M•A•C Myer counter at Parramatta because she enjoyed it so much the first time. THEN she did it again, but this time in Melbourne city Myer, on Friday July 25.

The end.

For more details and less fairytale, open this file: Download book_signing_media_alert.doc

For a really cool thing to do on Friday or Saturday during your lunch break, go back to the top of this post and read it again.

You know how Perez always talks himself up and it's really annoying?

I'm about to do the same!
Huzzah!
Let's smash some Annoyingometers!

So, I went on Mix 106.5 this morning, and Sonia Kruger has this incredible skin right,  and looks about 18 and she's really actually very hot, in that guys-swivel-heads-in-the-street way. Todd was a cracker, and you know, it's funny, I was nervous, right, cause you wonder if they're gonna throw you a curve ball and you won't be able to answer it, or you'll answer it terribly, or you'll swear (guilty, your honour) or you'll just be extraordinarily dull. But they were so nice and enthusiastic, all my nerves went down to my toes, and out the ends of my French pedicure.

God! This isn't about toenails! It's meant to be me BRAGGING! Stay on task, man!

Here are some links to some sweet bloggy girls who have written nice bloggy things about Air Kisses for a small fee and a Vegemite sandwich. There's Girl With A Satchel, who is one of my beauty editor cobbas and all-round unreal woman, and who published an enormously enormous interview with me about why umbrellas belong to s secret cult whose job it is to escape human beings (mostly at cafes and on public transport) and get back to The Umbrellatron, which is a large spaceship run by and full of umbrellas and due to leave earth within the next 100 years. Or the book, can't recall which.

Just now the beautiful, clever, generous Mia Freedman has cooked up a lovely little slice of post pie on her blog, Mamamia, which, like GWAS, you've probably already got on your favourites and would've seen without me politely bullying you there. But! It is a lovely, blush-inspiring post nonetheless. She also made an incredible speech at my launch, which to a girl who sent her faxes (kind of like email, only less 'e' and more 'pain in the ass') as an optimistic 15 year old, trying to secure work experience because I adored her, is pretty cool for me. If by 'pretty' you mean 'arctic'.

Here is one by a girl called Belinda who will probably intern with me at Primped sometime soon, because she's eager (sends emails regularly) and has started a blog (shows initiative) and is said to be the daughter of a man who owns a chocolate factory (has lots of chocolate.)

Then there is UK based blog, beautypopstar, who found me via my amazingly, super massively talented sister  Antigone talking me up on her myspank page. Just on that, Antigone's brand new, definitely excellent single, More Man Than Man, dropped YESTERDAY and if you liked that song "Ooh, The Bass Has Got Me Movin'" or "The Whirled You Live" then you'll love this track because GUESS WHAT? Those other two songs are also by her. Zing!

What's that? You want to know if I have any other siblings doing new and great musical things? Well isn't that funny. Because would you believe that my brother, Levi, a DJ and producer and the guy who made nice music at my book launch last week (see visual aids 1.0, 2.0) has a new track out now also!

1.0 Signing books that lovely polite people bought so it wouldn't look stupid: me sitting at a table, pen in hand, nothing to do.

2.0 Best Dress Ever and a man-sized book cover.

I think I've exhausted my Bragging Mechanism for today. Except to say  that I will be on the Today show tomorrow morning. Yes, you guessed it, discussing umbrellas.

Fruity's in Dolly magamazine!

And that makes for a very nice Tuesday morning treat.
Comment if you found fruity in there - I like to welcome new fruits.

Bonus round: Right underneath the fruity bit (how adorable are those cherries?) is a talk up on dry shampoo. Which is a powdery like spray you use to refresh your hair and is probably The Best Hair Product, or In Fact, Invention, Ever. Even better than those machines that clean the inside and outside of your fish tank just by you holding one part on the outside, and moving the inside part around magnetically. If you've never seen one, you should probably buy a few disposable goldfish and a small (square) tank just to see it in action. Of course, I jest: No goldfish is disposable. Not even ones that look like they're on their way out cause they're not eating and are just kind of lolling about that neon pink castle you bought cause you thought fish would feel more at home if there were plastic houses around. Never preempt their death - sometimes they bounce back. I've seen it happen with Boggy - the black, bog-eyed goldfish. Because you know what? Cruelty to animals - or clean fish tanks - will not be tolerated here. Cruelty to greasy, oily roots on the other hand? Not only tolerated, but enthused. 

Fruity cracks mainstream media. (And nail.)

There have been a LOT of new fruits come on board this week. So many, in fact, that I felt a little 'Welcoming Committee' was required. (Actually, it was HR. Can't they get off my fricken BACK? Just for one day? ONE DAY?)

Anyway. Like I always do, I've organised Chanel makeup hampers, La Prairie skincare packs and fresh fruit platters to be sent to each of you*. Stop... Noooo, honestly, it's my pleasure.

You were easy to find, I must say.
Oh come now, I think we all know where you stumbled in from after a hard night's reading...

COMMENCEMENT OF VERY OFFICIAL WELCOMING BIT.

If you are here because you bought this delightful magazine, Madison:

And read this page:

Then I would like to say WELCOME in a nice, grown-up, chic manner .

 

...But maybe you're here because you bought this lovely magazine, Shop Til You Drop:

And read this page:

In which case, I would also like to say "Welcome!" but in several different colour styles and with varying price tags, 'cause Sugar, I know you like to shop.

WELCOME! $42.50

WELCOME! $26.90

WELCOME! $109.50

* This is almost definitely a complete lie.

I love Youspace. And MyTube.

Ah, the woolly wild web. It's a crazy ride.

I was going to post that clip of that mang bride flipping OUT and swearing like a metho-fuelled hobo, cutting all of her hair off, but I'm sure you've all seen it three times, and are already cruising Perez for your next taste of video wrong.

Love YouTube.  What a delightful friend it has become to us all. Never borrows our clothes without asking, or drinks the last bit of milk, or steals our boyfriends like that nasty Paris girl. Just feeds us footage of things we never even knew we needed to see.

Along with Myspace, 'Tube is a particularly good friend to fruity, as a lot of her new www friends find her Definitely Excellent Product reviews via its colossal landscape of gamine Japanese girls doing swimwear shoots and Lonelygirl15 drawling aimlessly about her fake life.

See, once you start a blog, you start getting linked to. Only thing is, you never know what's being said about you,  or who is writing it, or how they found you, or why they found you, or what they had for dinner last night, or why they decided to very nicely boost your hits by linking to your wordy little wonderland.

But that's okay. I don't need answers; serendipity is the name of the www game.

However.

One thing I have come to know is that one who hath a blog must always obey The Rule To Cyberstalking One's Self: 

"Talk up and celebrate and definitely post the Good Stuff and always, always ignore the Nasty Stuff. Not that there is any."

Speaking of which: Here's a nice one right here.

Fruity's Angels.

Flying Fruit Platters!

Fruity got a shout out from the angels at beauty heaven. Bless them.

http://www.beautyheaven.com.au/

Oh, you haven't been there yet?
Should.

Clean, grown-up Australian content for Down Under darlins who want to know when, WHEN the new StriVectin SD products are on shelf. And if they're any good. Or which makeup company is releasing a airbrush foundation. Or if a spokesmodel really does know everything there is to know about what to pack in your flamingo pink Model Co toiletries bag when you fly to the Maldives. And so on.

Maybe, you should go there right now.
Not like you're doing work anyway, is it?
Www on, my finger-tapping fruits.