fruitybeauty

Everyone should get the chance to be me.

So says Paris 'Pazza' Hilton, who has just "created the world's hottest hair extensions" with Sally Beauty in the US. Curiously, this is her second shot at hair extensions, her first were called, don't laugh, Dreamcatchers. (As opposed to drinkingstraw catchers, or lipgloss catchers, both of which are more appropriate.)

Paz's hair extensions are fairly rudimentary looking to me, especially compared with some of the other clip-in extensions out there (Original Diva, Headline Hairpieces for a start) but, well, Paz says they're hot, who's to argue? (They cost $80 and they only come in one straight, 18cm length, so maybe someone disenchanted by those limitations might.)

Aside of the excellent opening copy on the website, and the criminal overuse of the word hot within said website, the thing that makes me strikes me as most amusing in this whole venture is that Paris's extensions usually look, uh, kind of un-hot. She's much cuter with short hair. Agree? See Visual aids for decision making assistance.

Visual Aid 1.0: Bad hair and Visible Extension Line. (EVL.)

Visual Aid 2.0: Cute, chic hair. (And the cool, coloured style of sunglasses we'll all be wearing next summer.)

See, the key to extensions, I think, is to have them professionally fitted and cut so that they look foxy and thick and long, but most crucially, natural within the frame of your natural mop.

Incidentally, Jessica Simpson's brand of clip-in extensions, Hair Do, offers roughly 675 more options and lengths and styles than Paris's. Just saying.

When celebrities disobey the rules of eye shadow.

I have a few comments on this image of Kristen Bell at the Baby Mama premiere.

1. I love Gossip Girl much. She narrates it. So, I pretty much love her too. (Not love love, xoxo love.)

2. She has some sweet-ass skin. Look at it! So luminous and glowy and plumpy! (Without a doubt the 'After' shot of a girl who has enjoyed a pre-red carpet facial within the last 10 hours.)

3. She is doing green on green. That is, green eyeshadow on green eyes. I am a fan of this, even though I know that really, the most flattering eye shadow shade is the opposite colour to your iris colour, not the identical one. (It also tends to be slightly more flattering when it's matte and is teamed with rosy cheeks and a slight pink lip, all fun and Spring like. But big, polished thumbs up to her for experimenting.) If you extract the disco-y, shimmery elements of this creation, do you like it? Or, do you think she should've stuck to browns/charcoals (or even the lilacs as per the Iris Accentuation Guidelines.)

Update: The outfit. Which is, as one fruit said, very relevant. (And look! It's green. Which prompts a whole new question: Is it right to match makeup to outfits in this manner? Or is it a little bit Miss Universe? I say it depends on how good you are at applying makeup...)

Lily Allen goes blonde: Claims she's now having more fun*

Little Lily's dropped the dark mop and switched it up for a light, toffee-caramel blonde.

I don't mind it, actually. It's kind of believable. (And kind of impressive on the colourist's behalf: going that dark to that blonde and making it look even remotely natural is an art, fruits. An ART.)

It's more believable than this, anyway. (Which isn't saying much as this is obviously pretty believable.)

*That's a lie. I can't back that up. Lily and I haven't spoken in weeks.

Boleyn girls and brightening products.

Watched The Other Boleyn Girl on the weekend, and I'll admit it, cause if I don't Pede will comment and reveal the truth anyway, but I didn't know it was based on a true story. (I studied Ancient Eygpt, not 16th century England). And that made it even better, that information.

It's an excellent story, fruits. I'm a Rules girl, you see, and Queen Anne totally did the Rules on Henry's lecherous ass, and you know, sure, things didn't turn out the best for her, but I think that's more to do with her being completely psychotic, and less to do with her ways of wooing.

Anyway. Both Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson are very beautiful in the film, despite the fact neither are wearing any (perceivable) makeup throughout.

They are, I would have to say, two of the finest-skinned girls in Hollywood. (Kate Winslet is up there, too.) And yes,  of course they're both in their early 20s, but I've seen plenty of bad skin on people in their early 20s. It's not about age, I tell you, it's about the texture! The evenness of tone! And most crucially, the complete lack of sun damage! Their skin looks as though they've never seen a sunny day in their lives, and fruits, that is a very very good thing. In my eyes, luminous, un-pigmented, even-toned skin is beautiful skin. Just look to the catwalks to see face after face of pale, radiant skin.

Speaking of spokesmodels...

Guess who is Revlon's newest face?

(Hint: Not Pete Doherty. Or Pete Wentz.)

No, it's this woman:

Yes, The Body is switching to The Face, and will now be perched on the same illustrious branch as Halle Bizzle, Kate Bozzie and Jess Albizzle, all of who represent Revlon globally, and also on Jupiter.

How super to see an Ohssie as the face of a multinational brand. Since Nat Imbrugs left L'Oreal, we haven't really had one of our beautiful people be paid for being beautiful at that level.

(Except this guy, of course, who I believe is about to be announced as the face/scrawny chest of Supre.)

Jude Law is.... Jude Dior.

Ol mate Jude is the new face of Christian Dior men's fragrance portfolio!

Oh, and Justin Timberlake? Guerlain.

Clive Owens is the face of Lancome homme EDP, obviously, and Pete Doherty is the spokesmodel for Revlon Charlie.*

I must admit I'm still getting used to this Perfume Man Face business. I don't know why, obviously they're Good Looking Famous People, and deserve a cosmetics contract just as much as the ladies, but I don't know, in my mind when it comes to spokesmodels for fragrances, I still usually think, "Charlize, ok, Chloe Sevigny, you bet, Kate Moss, yep,  Nicole Kidman, mm-hmm, Scarlett, makes sense, Justin Timberlaaa... um... Oh look! Eyeliner. Eyeliner good. Use it. Use it some more. More!"

Who'll be next? Orlando Bloom? Pete Wentz? Mr T? Zac Efron?

(That was kind of rhetoric and kind of conversational whitebait.)




*If you believe this, you are sillier than suede on a soaking wet day.

Gwynny and The New Hair Length.

For a few weeks, I've been banging onto anyone who'll listen that shoulder-length-ish is the New Length. Look at Madonna! Kate Moss! And now, Gwynny! A woman who has had the same, long hair since The Sliding Doors crop that was the Pob of its day.

Reasons why it's so lovely and desirable, and not at all a 'nothing length', and why it is especially great for those who have long hair and who have possibly been trapped in the Same Hair Vortex since year 9: It takes you from 'girly-pretty, to womanly-pretty' instantly, it's chic, it makes your hair look healthier and thicker, your hair has bounce all of a sudden and generally, your whole look becomes fresher.

The Unlikely Beauty Inspiration of the week award goes to...

Amy 'Sure I'm toothless and and higher than Britney, but I'm Karl Lagerfeld's muse so bite me ', Wiiiiinehouse!

 

*Applause*


Amy wins this weeks UBI award for her effort at Nod to Fifties Housewife Glamour, complete with masterfully twisted and tied headscarf and rolled back, quiffy, pinned-under fringe. Recently popularised by one Christina 'I Am Probably Having a C-Section This Very Moment' Aguilera in her candyman filmclip, Amy looks the most groomed we've seen her since approximately 1964.

Judges were also impressed with Amy's Exceptionally Rapid and Almost Convincing Hair Colour Change, however the slight tinge of orange and the fact that the headscarf could actually be hiding a Very Very Bad Dye Job lost her some marks.



But in all, a convincing win.
Congratulations, Amy, congratulations.

Cate, Cate, she's our man, if she can't do it, no one can.

A poem, by Fruitia Plath.

I love Cate
And you probably do too,
Her skin is exceptional
Wrinkles and lines, she has few.

I love SK-II
It gives me lovely skin cells that are new
Cate was the 'Strayan ambassador
But now she's global too.

The end.

Delta GoodGOLLY!

I went to the ACP party last night for the launch of 30 days of Fashion and Beauty (stay alert fruits - over September there will be something like 50 magazine events/instores with fashion and beauty eds) of which Delta Goodrem and Elle Macpherson are the faces.

Elle looked ravishing, ethereal, willowy, glamorous as always. But it was Delta who thieved the show. Check it:

Sure, her feathery Bowie dress was a little silly, but her hair/makeup/Burberry Prorsum belt/confidence just radiated hotness. She's back, you know? She's doing the all grown up, got it all together, got a stylist and makeup artist and some subtle hair extensions, check me ouuuuut thing we all wish Britney would do.

She's on the cover of Cosmo on Monday looking like a cross between Jen Hawkins and Cheyenne Tozzi. Not a bad cross-pollination at all.

Go Delta, you little pocket rocket.