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It’s called Accidental Allure, I’ve decided. Those things that you probably don’t even realise are beautiful, and sexy and make men (or women) melt like an icy pole on hot asphalt.
Examples:
Having really smooooooth skin
Having nice feet that are well-looked after
Having hair that smells really awesome (cue Herbal Essences)
Having a graceful, elegant neck and playing it up by wearing your hair pulled back
Having incredibly soft hands
Having a yacht
Is this one: Face Of Australia lip shine.
My criteria:
Stupidly high shine. (This is a subjective thing; you may prefer a less terrifyingly glazed finish. You probably also like eating your oysters natural, but again, that's your choice.) I discovered this gloss years ago, when I was back at Cosmo, and gave it much editorial over the years for this very reason: Massively shiny lips are totally awesome.
Cheap, cheap, cheap. I don't know the exact price, but if i recall, it's roughly as expensive as a small pizza, or a massage on a Thai beach. It's at priceline, and chemists, I'm guessing. (Probably you won't find it at Gucci, but as with my knowledge on it's cost, that too is a guess.)
Lasts. Really lasts. I can put this gear on after brushing my teeth, (dabbing, not swiping) and it'll still be flirtatiously highlighting my lips at lunch. Really! This, of course, infers that it's a very tacky, thick texture. Which it is, and some people hate that, so you've been warned. But! It also lasts in terms of how long it takes to get through a pot. May I suggest leaving it as your bathroom-sink gloss, or your desk gloss, and taking your tubes in your handbag. It's a nice friend to have as your finishing touch before you walk out the door.
The Jasmine shade is Pretty Much A Perfect Nude. It's sheer, but there's a whisper of subtle pink. Awww.
It doesn't make my lips feel like the bottom of my shoe after walking on hot asphalt for 67 hours. Maybe that's because they put vitamin E and jojoba oil in it. That was nice of them, wasn't it?
Another great thing:
It's a 'Strayan owned and made... Dammit. I should've saved this post for Straya day!
Meh, I'll post about Vegemite and Echidnas instead.
... To test your lipstick on, that is.
(What did you think I meant, you devilish little Leprechauns!)
So Mum and I had lunch on Saturday (Bento box and a lovely glass of sav blanc) and of course, she is wearing lipstick. I give mum a loooot of lipsticks. She likes lipstick, you see, and I have plenty of them, so it's a totally awesome relationship. The one she was wearing, she said, (more orange than an overripe mango; less orange than an.... orange ) looked different when she tried it on her wrist, to when she put it on her lips. It was aggressively darker, she said. That happens alot, she said. Annoying, she said.
I said, Mum. That's because your wrist is about as similar in texture and colour to your lips as a praying mantis is to a DVD player. You should test potential lip colours on the pad of your fingertip. (Or thumbtip, no discrimination here.) They are very similar in texture and colour, your lips and your finger pads and so it is a far more accurate testing ground, I said.
Wow, she said. How about that!
How about that indeed, I said.
Bonus non-story inclusion: My favourite lipstick is STILL Laura Mercier in Tangerine. Add an almost ridiculous amount of bronzer (CCs fruits, don't forget the CCs) and you look so fresh and wide awake and white-eyed and neon-toothed and superholidayfreakyrelaxed, it's criminal.
Amy 'Sure I'm toothless and and higher than Britney, but I'm Karl Lagerfeld's muse so bite me ', Wiiiiinehouse!
*Applause*
Amy wins this weeks UBI award for her effort at Nod to Fifties Housewife Glamour, complete with masterfully twisted and tied headscarf and rolled back, quiffy, pinned-under fringe. Recently popularised by one Christina 'I Am Probably Having a C-Section This Very Moment' Aguilera in her candyman filmclip, Amy looks the most groomed we've seen her since approximately 1964.
Judges were also impressed with Amy's Exceptionally Rapid and Almost Convincing Hair Colour Change, however the slight tinge of orange and the fact that the headscarf could actually be hiding a Very Very Bad Dye Job lost her some marks. 
But in all, a convincing win.
Congratulations, Amy, congratulations.
My friend, code name Bernie, text me about this while I was splashing about in the sideways rain at Byron bay over my New Years break. Thanks for that, cyclone. You're awesome.
She was a little confused, you see, about which order summer skin care goes. Does the sunscreen or sunblock go under your face cream, or over? And I thought what a great question, Bernie, that deserves fruitification.
The answer of course fruits, is on top of your face cream. Sun protection, (30 plus and protecting you against both UVA [ageing] and UVB [burning], please) should be the last thing you put on your face (before makeup, of course.)
So, ideally you would apply your serum (treatment product), your moisturiser (hydration, antioxidants etc), your sunblock/sunscreen/zinc, and then (your primer if you wear one) and then your makeup.
Of course, you could make life easy and combine your daily moisturiser with your high protection sunblock, which Kit, Mecca, Ultraceuticals, True Solutions, Skincueticals, Invisible Zinc, Clinique and a whole host of other skincare brands will happily allow you to do, provided you hand over some clams for their goodies.
Another way to simplify in summer, (and my GOD I love this product, it's my summer staple three years running and is so teeny you can take it everywhere, even in that silly coin purse thing you use over summer because your work handbag is monstrously oversized) is to combine your high protection with your foundation, as per Shiseido's sun protection stick foundation. (Shiseido are renown for their excellence in sun care.)
It's this teeny little foundation stick full of 30 plusness and broad spectrumness that is waterproof, sweat proof and gives awesome, natural dewy coverage (you just draw on some lines then blend in with fingers), conceals spots (even red, fresh or naughtily picked-at ones) and undereye circles better than pretty much any concealer I've tried and is just superb for the beach or the bar or bowling or bungee jumping.
There are a few different shades (I use Ochre) and look, I could go on but the point is that I. Love. It. Much and you might too.
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