fruitybeauty

Because you (well, some of you) asked for it.

It's a Bert update.
He's a big, fat, flat-faced ball of love and I can't believe I bothered existing without him.

(His full name is Meowbert, for the record, but people tend to Not Get That, which is why I usually just refer to him as Bert. For another record - and I hope you're a record collector - The Boyfriend named him.)

Meowbert chillin' with his Missoni cushion.
(No, I am not commissioned by them to viral PR, I promise.)

Meowbert 'cleaning up'

Meowbert giving his mama some love.

Meowbert really, really thrilled about being washed and looking
like a small rat with an over-developed hair hormone.

Meowbert watching me blog about... Meowbert.
(Oooh, how self-referential.)

NB: Meowbert gave full permission for use these images to be used in this manner.

Gosh, lovely weather today, isn't it?

Anything to move the focus away from Yesterday's Post.

Of which we will never speak of again.

Let's focus on these spinning circles instead.

Fruity little five-year-olds

So, a friend of mine came around with her daughter and her friend the other day, right, and something was a bit wack with her daughter, and I couldn't figure it out, and then I realised she had STRAIGHT HAIR, which deserves caps because she has the wildest, curliest hair since, you know, ever.

I asked her what had happened.

This is what had happened: The friend's mum had taken the two girls out with her shopping, and just for the fun of it, got the girls manicures, pedicures (including nail art, as depicted in the first image) and blow dries.

The girls are five.

I was a leeeetle bit shocked. Sure, I mean they'd had an awesome time, (they were so so pumped about the nail art) they're gonna paint their own nails and do a rotten job of it, so why not have a good, neat job, and as for the hair, well, that can be washed, but I think it's just this whole thing of, you know, if you're getting blowies and pedis at five, what can you possibly have to look forward to at 16?

Botox?
Micro-dermabrasion?
A new set of boobies??

It's not that groundbreaking, really.

But this past weekend I again learned that the easiest way to fake freshness after too much Bacchanalian behaviour the previous night is chiefly through a good bronzing.  (And this great thing I discovered at Coles which is make it yourself Powerade powder - exceptionally handy in Times of Dehydrated Need.)

The one that gave me much joy this weekend was the new one by Model Co, which is possibly not out just yet.

It's called Airbrush Bronzer for the face (I think) and you mist it over your whole face and all of a sudden your face matches the tan on your body (one tick) your teeth and eyes are whiter (two ticks) and you look healthy and glowy and beach-esque as opposed to looking like someone who just spent a month in a cave, eating tofu and staring at a computer screen (three ticks.) Plus, it's got some skincare ingredients, so your face doesn't feel dry like it can when you use your body tanner on your mug.

I just added some mascara and a little bit of concealer around the eyes and nose, and you know that guy Bob? He became my uncle.

On today's news, five women suddenly become very excited after reading fruitybeauty

Q: On a scale of one to 100 on how blown away was I by the 96 entries I got for this competition?

A: 96. (Four more fruits was all it would've taken, JUST FOUR MORE FRUITS.)

But really, I'm so thrilled, and chuffed and stoked that all of you took time to be clever and funny and enter. Thank you.

Ok. Now. Drum roll. (Or sausage roll, I don't mind.)

And the runners up-er-ers aare...

Two women in a bathroom:
(because we all know that the best compliments come from other women)

"You smell the way I always imagined an Italian love affair - exotic, sensual and highly addictive. May I have a spray?"

Posted by: michelle | September 19, 2007 at 05:19 PM

Smells like the sun

And oh so sweet,

Your scents so fun

We should meet.

It's intoxicating

This smell now owns me,

Don’t keep me waiting

Give me Missoni...

Posted by: Claire M | September 19, 2007 at 11:15 PM

From a stranger: "That fragrance should be worn by you and only you." Bliss.

Posted by: Susan | September 19, 2007 at 01:22 PM

Your bottom looks smaller in that scent.

Posted by: Art | September 20, 2007 at 11:03 PM

And the winner of the beautiful towel and fragrance combo iiiiis, (and shut up, it's not name bias, because I didn't judge the competition, Beverly did, so there)...

You passed... and I turned... for you had surely just emerged, intoxicatingly fresh, from crisp crystal waters; radiant as sunlight glinting from an aqua sea.

Posted by: Zoe Clark | September 21, 2007 at 08:01 AM

Now, my lucky little Missoni melons, send me an email with your address and we'll get this scent show on the road.

Wahoo, and again, to all of you, thank you.

A rub free zone.

What a dingin' response!
You're mad as for your Missoni, aren't you my little pipped and peely ones?
Almost time to announce for me to announce the winners, but until then, let me tell you of a big fat perfume NO NO NO NO.

I always, always see people do this:

Spray perfume, smell, rub wrists.

Here's one part that is right:

Spray perfume.

Here's another:

Smell.

Here's one that is wrong:

Rub wrists.

And here's why:

When you rub one wrist on another, you bruise all of those glorious, expensive, exquisite flowers that give the fragrance its unique scent. You kind of ruin the way its intended to slowly, gently unwind and reveal all of it's depth and beauty basically.

So don't rub.
No more rub.
Ban the rub.
Make your wrists (or neck) a rub free zone.

Fresh, amazing Missoni goodness up for grabs!

Remember this post? 

It's all about my adoration for Missoni, and their new fragrance Acqua, which has JUST launched.

One cool thing about that post:

The Missoni people in 'Straya sent the link to the Missoni people in NYC, who sent it to the Missoni people in Italy, i.e., Angela Missoni, who liked one of the photos I'd used in my post so much, she asked the Missoni people in NYC to find out where I got it, so she could buy it. Bottom line: Angela Missoni read fruitybeauty.

Another cool thing:

The Missoni people in 'Straya were a little bit chuffed with my Missoni obsession, and gave me FIVE BOTTLES OF THEIR BEAUTIFUL NEW FRAGRANCE, MISSONI ACQUA, as well as ONE, BIG, FAT, BEAUTIFUL MISSONI BEACH TOWEL to give away.

So, there'll be four prizes of the lush new juice...

...and one MEGA, SUPER prize of the juice and the beach towel. And let me tell you, I own one of these towels, and when you strut to the beach with it gently resting on your shoulders, you're pretty much the most fun, (and most designer) cat to hit the sand.

How you can win:

First, you must be a subscriber. Second, post a comment below describing (in less than 25 words, and I'll be counting) the best compliment someone could possibly give you regarding your delicious new Missoni perfume.

The best answer will win the best prize, and the following four will win the penultimate prizes.

Because of the efficiency and professionalism of the Missoni people in Straya, the competition ends this Friday at 12 noon, so that the goods can be sent out on Friday afternoon. How. Good. Is That. Start your engines Fruits...

NB: I am not judging this competition, the Missoni fruits are. But they're a funny lot; they get my humour, so keep on truckin' you funny little fruitbats.

My fruits are so far from being godamn fools.

I love how interactive and supportive and empathetic and, well, scared you all were after reading my solarium post. Tugs my little heartstrings. Thank you.

Now. A few answers for some enquiring fruits:

1.Definitely use sunscreen every single day. UV rays are in fact exacerbated in winter, as they bounce off reflective surfaces like concrete, water, snow etc on up to  the clouds .. and then straight back down onto us. As I always say, buy only a 30 plus, broad spectrum sunscreen for your face. It goes on top of your skin care, and below your makeup. There are too many to list out there but one I will mention is one that doubles as a tinted moisturiser, and that's Megan Gale's invisible zinc, which now comes in a lighter shade as well as the original (more tanned) shade.

2. Why fake tan comes off in the sea is basically the same reason it comes off in the pool and shower:  your cells start to soak up the water, which dilutes the effect of the DHA on your skin, in turn fading it. Also, in a pool or spa situation, the chlorinated water can bleach the tan, so you may need to decline P.Diddy's jacuzzi-and-Dom invite it if you want your skin to stay all lovely and tanned.

3. Do not use a face cream that has SPF in it at night - the zinc and titanium oxides etc are far too clogging. Night is when the skin needs to regnerate; placing barriers of chemicals will annoy and hinder it. Use a specialised night cream. Worth it.

4. Contrary to popular belief, mosquitoes in fact have 48 teeth, not 47.

If you use solariums, you are a GODAMN FOOL.

This is Clare, who is 26.
Sorry, was 26: She died this morning from skin cancer caused by solarium use.

Please click and read her story in the paper today:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22410791-2,00.html

A former solarium junkie, Clare Oliver died from aggressive melanoma. Before she died,  she wrote a very moving, if-you-use-solariums-you're-stupid-cause-I-did-and-was-grossly-uninformed-about-their-strength-and-dangers, letter, which will serve as her legacy to those she can save from a similar fate.

In case you didn't know, solariums emit both UVA (ageing) and UVB (burning) rays, which means they are just like lying in the sun, but of course, you don't wear your 30 plus in the solarium, do you? No. You don't. So really, you're just laying there, utterly exposed to skin-cancer causing rays. And really, what could be more stupid than lying in a box getting aged and burnt? (Hint: Not much.)

For the  sake of your own intelligence, (and, well, life) if you go to, or know anyone that goes to, a solarium, please stop. They are an incredibly dangerous device and as our government are too slack to correctly regulate them, (why they still exist at all baffles me and don't get me started on that mess of a TV show, Sunset Tan) I'm gonna take over the Serious Reins and plead that you buy a nice bottle of Garnier self-tanner instead of frying your skin in a box. Please, no more cancer boxes, fruits. Please.

But of course it's not just solariums that cause skin cancer, fruits.

Why I poo-poo paw paw.

I have access to roughly 789 billion lip balms in my job, but so many leave my lips dry after using them. No matter the price or the prestige, they leave my lips flaky and rubbish.

Here are two I have to shed some light on, as sadly, they are two that have SOMEHOW managed to get a reputation as being the oldest, best, most loved for the lips.

Lucas Paw Paw ointment. Great for nappy rash, bites etc but not your lips. Seriously. If I had a dollar for every model that pulls this out of her Marc Jacobs bag and profess to its splendour, I would have lots of dollars. I take great joy in telling them it has a petroleum base and is no better than Vaseline for your lips. "Oh, but I use it all the time," they say. Yes, well, that's cause it's drying your lips out, sugar.

Vaseline. See above. I repeat: Petroleum is no good for the lips. Why? Because  all petroleum products do - and in fact most lip "balms" - is provide a barrier. They don't actually nourish or moisturise the lips at all. They just cover them and give the illusion of them being all lovely and moisturised. But your lips are actually drying out under there. These products aren't soothing or healing your lips, just coating them.

The key to seriously looked after lips is actually three fold.

1. Make sure your lips are exfoliated every week or so. Do this using a warm face cloth and if possible, a dedicated lip scrub. (Try the Lip Scrub, below) Don't use your face scrub, it'll be too strong on your lips.

2. Next, use a lip nourishing product (think vitamin e/sweet almond/coconut oil; shea butter), that contains no petroleum to properly moisturise the lips. There are plenty of these around, and I'm sure your comments will be most helpful in detailing them.

My two very-well-researched picks?

Shizen's Lip Serum

and Jo Malone's Vitamin E lip conditioner (it has SPF 15.)

3. And this is only if you want to, or are going into a windy day, or a blizzard, you can swipe on your old lip balm or barrier to lock in that new lease of moisture. But even then I reckon stay away from nasty old petroleum. Trust me on this one.