fruitybeauty

Meowbert: Making the iPhone camera look incredible

My brother in law and order and my sister stayed over this weekend, right, and while I was out doing something incredibly important (manicure, oval-shape ala Mad Men, OPI in Big Apple Red. Yes. I do stand by what I wrote about girls who wear red nail polish in Air Kisses) my brother in law takes a photo of de la bert kicking it on his ottoman.

And I had to share it with you. Because it's so great. Annoying that it was taken on an iPhone, because I take great pride in telling everyone the BlackBerry Bold is superior to the iPhone, but clearly the iPhone camera thumps the Bold's weedy little ass when it comes to taking photos of massively excellent felines.

Chillaxing: ur r doin it rite.

Fruit. Tweet. Bert.

Fruits, hello!

I hope you're all exceptionally well and watching Mad Men and embracing matte pink lipstick. Because that's what an awesome person would do.Watch Mad Men. And wear lipstick. But maybe not if they're a man.

Thought it was time I delivered some fruitastical updates.

1. I bought a delightful blue vase from a garage sale today. It's a real winner.

2. I now have a fortnightly column in The Sunday Telegraph. It is on arts and crafts, and more specifically woodwork. Ha! As if. Everyone knows metal work is far more exciting. But seriously, it is, of course, on beauty. You should read it. All the time.

3. I also write a monthly dating article in Cosmopolitan magazine. This might be why men are not lining up to date me. That or my habit of placing large announcements with both our photos saying: Guess who is an item!! in the newspaper after one date.

4. My next two books are officially in the can. It is a very large can, like one of those novelty ones you can buy at the Royal Easter Show. The next one, which is non-fiction, is on sale October, and the next novel is out early 2010. Which sounds like a made up year from an episode of The Jetsons but is actually only eight months away.

5. Meowbert has been reading through some scripts and will be announcing a major movie role very soon. I don't want to say too much, but think Speed meets Notting Hill.

6. I am a twit. (Not really news, but at least now it's official.) Follow me at www.twitter.com/zotheysay

9. I still don't know how to count.

Love,
Fruitasaurus Rex X

Ps Yes PRIMPED gets all my love and time now, but remember: She's not the enemy. She is the natural evolution of fruitybeauty. Just like Caramello Koala was the natural evolution of caramel. Just in case you've never been onto PRIMPED, (ha! as if) here is my daily blog, which even has the same style heading as fruitybeauty, which should indicate to you that it is 100% the same blog, by the same nutbag. Just in a different pair of pants.

'Sbeen a while, hasn't it Fruits?

But you know why.

It's not because I don't care for you anymore.
And I promise it's not because you spilled nail polish on my new dress that time. It's because of my daily blogging at primped, which being my Real Life, Full Time, Rent Paying, Shoe Buying Job, thieves all of my blogging energy and love and ideas.

It's funny, you know... (Funny weird, not funny like this photo of Meowbert writing his blog, bertybeauty)

...I wrote the "Farewell Fruits" post back in September, but just couldn't bring myself to post it. It's still sitting there as a draft, just being gloomy and throwing shit at the TV and kicking tyres and stuff.

I think it's that I didn't want any finality, because, you know, sometimes I still want to write on here and tell you what I'm up to, and tell you that Origins Pinch Your Cheeks is my favourite product today, (that and Molton Brown Gingerlily bath and shower gel) and most importantly, do what I didn't do two weeks back, which was to wish the two of you reading this a wonderfully happy Christmas break (now irrelevant) and a gloriously happy and successful 2009 (still valid).

With love and gooseberries*
Frosty Fruit.

*This is a real fruit.

High fashion, high turn over of blogging, high times.

If you're wondering why I haven't been posting this week, well, I have been.... Just not here. See, I blog daily over at PRIMPED now (I write about exactly the same nonsense, promise), where we're furiously covering the Spring/Summer 09 collections daily, discussing important things like Posh's glorious new pixie crop, Marc Jacobs' sweet schoolgirl plaits (not on him, that'd be creepy, I meant on his models) and the lovely tangerine eyeliner on this ravishing young creature. It's fun. It's fashiontastical. It's trendically out of this world. It's totally beautyolatocious. And so on.

Git down to Salon Nwah

On another note (F Minor) don't forget to sign up to Primped for a trip for you and a friend/boyfriend/psycho detox maniac pal to shimmy on up to the Golden Door for five nights (a prize worth roughly as much as my car financially, and as much as Donald Trump's car mentally/physically).

Primped.com.au awaits your mouse clickery

And I’d write more, but probably you’re not going to read much more anyway, you’re just going to go to shuffle up to your url bar and type in www.primped.com.au and see what I left definitely excellent gig at Harper’s BAZAAR to do, and what has caused me to slowly morph from a gym-going, green tea drinking, non-bread consuming type into a twice-a-day java fiend, referred to behind her back as The Breadonator, who prefers to eat small chocolate treats based on small koalas or frogs instead of dinner, and what is now going to be your favourite, most bestest, most adored place for beauty advice or news or trends or product information or massively awesome How To videos that splain things visually so you can master liquid eye liner, and bronzer and blush and ghd-hair curling once and for all, and stop walking around with wongly half curls that go in 37 directions like me, even though obviously I have no business sporting anything other than perfect hair at all times, but I think we all know that like tasty dark chocolate or comfortable strapless bras, that’s a myth.

Anyway, fruits, I'm exceptionally proud of Primped. I think she's pretty amazing.  And I suggest you do too, or the friendship’s over. Haha! But seriously, I'll probably just stop calling so much, and we'll end up being 'Let's catch up' friends.

With love and lunacy,
Primpy/Fruity.